


Aimless, Adrift

by RichmanBachard



Category: Metroid Series
Genre: Aftermath, Artificial Intelligence, Banter, Grief, Introspection, MORE THAN BEFORE, POV First Person, Post-Fusion, Samus is genetically altered slightly, Well - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:13:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23622931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RichmanBachard/pseuds/RichmanBachard
Summary: Set just after the events of Fusion, Samus is afforded some time to think. And to grieve. Adam, her AI companion, sets out to get her to discuss it openly. Commission for Raineosa.
Kudos: 13





	Aimless, Adrift

In all my years, the only true.. solace that I’ve come to find were in the stars themselves. Never people, nor institutions either - at least not really - but instead just.. glimmering starlight, twinkling with possibility. A kind of purity in all its glow. Adam often told me many of those stars had all but burnt away, their visage to my naked eye just an echo, a distant point of light from somewhere in the past. In my mind, simmering and filled with concern as it was, I found some.. peace in that, strangely. Even if gone, its mark remained; still felt, still seen at vast distances. Would a similar fate befall me? Another star lost to a sea of oblivion? There was some semblance of poetry there, I suppose.. a somber end to an otherwise hectic life.

But I refused to wither so easily.

I had taken my ship through the sea; passing worlds, stations, asteroid belts, and the rest of the infinite black. Hours had passed since the base went down in flames. For hours I’d flown, still encased in my power suit. It brought.. a small comfort to me, the smallest shred of protection in an otherwise uncertain universe. 

In that moment, even with the animals I saved aboard my ship slumbering comfortably, and.. with Adam’s presence, I felt so horribly small. And alone. 

I was used to being alone, thrived on it even. But small...

“Lady,” came his voice suddenly, shaking me from my thoughts. For a piece of artificial consciousness, his insistence had surprised me. “Are you feeling well?”

I hesitated, my lips trembling a touch before dignifying the phantom with a response. “I’m fine.”

“Your vitals indicate otherwise.”

Shit. Despite the small sigh that escaped me, I knew he deserved more than just a single, curt reply. “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”

Adam seemed quiet, almost puzzled by my words. “That would be.. illogical, unless you were being sar-“

I rolled my eyes. Through the helmet which covered my head, it was an act he could not see and, yet, he sounded as if he had anyway. “Just forget it,” I added. “You don’t.. you don’t need to worry about me.”

Again, Adam seemed to carefully consider what he might say next. It was the least he could do. “It is my job to worry about you, even if I cannot technically-“

I cut him off, a harshness to my tone. _”You’re not him.”_

Then, there was silence. A brief wave of coldness between us. “...correct,” he finally said. “Though, I am the closest possible composite. And from everything I’ve gleaned so far, you would benefit from.. as they say.. a shoulder to cry on?”

“How sweet..”

“I am not sweet.”

_That_ much was clear. The bastard. My fingers ran across the panel upon the control dash. With several buttons tapped into, and the throttle pulled back, I put her into a state of automated flight. No discernible destination, not yet.. 

The strength it took to muster as I moved from my command chair was.. difficult. More than I was proud to admit. My legs ached, a soreness having spread through my core. That’s what I deserved from having sat still for so long. What was it they used to say about hindsight..?

“Lady, convene with me. I am here if you need to talk.” 

Convene..

“Have you heard from the Federation?” I asked. 

“Of all initial queries, that is your first?” Adam had seemingly paused again. “From everything I have heard through certain infonet channels, they have.. purportedly begun a damage assessment of the bases’ destruction and the biological fallout thereafter. They will lick their wounds, and demand a sort of retribution.”

“Have I been deemed a fugitive yet?” I sounded almost.. impatient, as I asked that. As if a part of me would hope that to be the outcome. 

He did not immediately respond. “As of now.. no, but the possibility remains if you avoid questioning and the chance of a tribunal. Should the inevitable investigation demand such action.”

I steadied my walk, placing a hand against the wall of the cockpits exit. “I did the right thing, Adam.” Thereafter, I moved from there into the greater whole of my ship. Not to imply there was ever much room to begin with, but.. over the years, the adjustments I made worked to soothe any possible claustrophobia. The wider hull bore the airlock in a center chamber, with an engineering table to the left and a door to my personal quarters to the right. The soft, blue glow of the interior had colored my every step. 

“Are you sure about that?”

There was nothing I wasn’t more sure of. ..or so I thought. “What the Federation did... Adam, those experiments were an abomination. To galactic safety, the sanctity of life. I’m..” I found my fists clenching, an anger tearing through me which had been building for hours. “I can’t believe they-“

I kept replaying the events over and over in my mind. Recalling the SA-X and what it did.. the horrors of that facility having been laid bare, it left me feeling horribly.. cold, tense. The Federation would spin it however they could, it was apart of the job - but my reaction was most definitely not. Never had been.

Adam knew that. He must have looked at me with an unmatched befuddlement, typical of a machine so logical and self-serious. Clearly, some part of him.. or.. what he once was—what, or whom, he was based on—cared, he had to. He must. He wouldn’t have spared me the indignity of a fiery demise aboard the station as it went down, otherwise. Part of me.. to my shame, thought that to be unfortunate, though, to my own remorse. A fleeting moment, a sensation quickly passed.

Death was preferable to what I was feeling now, and yet I forced myself to reconcile with that fact. The new reality presented to me.

“You require rest,” Adam said, his voice airing itself over the comm once more. The tone was a soother one now. “As well as some fluids. Your vital signs are.. not looking good.”

My reply came simply. “I told you, I’m fine.”

“No, Lady. No, you are not.”

With a flick of the wrist, dispelling a burst of holographic data, my suit had begun to dematerialize. Each piece faded into a nanoparticle dust. And with that, I simultaneously felt so.. vulnerable, yet free. 

“Your vitals are concerning, we’ve not shared words in two hours and thirty-five minutes, and-“

“And what?”

“And.. you have yet to set a destination for us.. curious.”

My eyes had rolled once more, rubbing a hand along the wealth of muscle upon my arm. Sore.. it was all still so _sore._ “I haven’t thought that far ahead yet.”

“Bullshit.”

My eyes widened, a soft gasp spilling from me. For an artificial being drawing from the well of who he was, it was so..

Well..

For just a moment, it felt real. Like he was-

“Pardon the language,” he said, “though.. something tells me you would prefer it. Still, I know you. I know you all too well.”

I had gone to undo the tie which bound the clump of hair from my ponytail, but refrained. Just for a moment. With a cross of the arms, I had leaned against the wall. To hear him out, what was the worst that could happen?

“Over the years, your file had racked a considerable wealth of detail. The Federation researched you well. Not just successful bounties, but your service record as well. The lives you saved, the worlds you’ve let die. Your name carries weight along the galactic shore.. and through it all, I have noticed one thing.”

“Do tell.“

He seemed to draw the anticipation out. Perhaps, he was learning. “Rarely do you dawdle. You cannot simply.. sit still, as one might say. A report to file, a life to save, a bounty to cash in — you are always on the move, and when you are not, you are planning to do so soon, with haste..”

I let slip a quiet sigh, pushing off of the wall to mosey towards the small - horribly small, honestly, I should have remedied that by now - but the small kitchen area in the back, near the engine room. I wanted coffee, but my body..

“You do not need coffee.”

“Shut up.”

If Adam could roll his own eyes, or dispel an unamused stare, the time would’ve been now. I remember the look. “You are stagnant.”

I had made some tea instead, the last packet of Trylar’s Sleepytime Brew on hand. I’d need to buy more.. if I could, with ease. “That’s the word for it?”

“Lady..” His voice seemed softer, to my surprise. “You are stagnant, because you are afraid.”

My fingers had slowed, watching as the brew was made in rapid succession. It took something.. stronger than I was currently capable of to admit that he was right. 

So, I didn’t.

“I appreciate your concern, Adam. It means.. more than I could ever say, but-“

“Then allow me to speak in your stead, if I may.”

“So polite..”

“You feel betrayed. Betrayed by the institution you once had seemingly believed in, and now that faith has been irrevocably shaken. It was all you had. And now you feel lesser.”

The machine finished, spilling forth the tea I craved into the mug below. With allotted time, I let it cool a touch before applying the sweetener. “I have you.”

“And yet you do not fully trust me.”

The tea came sweetly, a thickly sort of brew that tasted almost.. savory, in a way. I had missed it worse than I thought. “How could I..? You and your wonderful military mind..” I almost chuckled. “Of course they’d never let that go. How could they?”

“Commander Malkovich’s memories, impulses, and senses fueled every step in the early days of my creation. He is a part of me. I am not who I am without his influence, and yet he is nothing like me. That the Federation used it, tactically, should come as no shock.”

“Except for the fact that it—that you—could have been used to soften the blow. Used against me. Metroids, Adam.. they were making.. metroids.” I set the mug down as my grip tensed. The last thing I had wanted was to break my #1 Galactic Blonde mug. A prized possession. “Metroids, again! Like no one in this damned void ever learns!”

“You are angry.”

“No _shit.”_

Adam gave it a moment, the bastard. “Ever since the SA-X melded with your genetic code, your vitals had spiked but are now, still, worryingly low.. perhaps your body is-“

There it was. The cold chill that ran from the base of my spine, up along, in that horrid sort of way. I thought of her- thought of.. it. For just a moment I could hear the thuds, the stomping of its boots. My boots. As I hid. The sharp, yet dead, look in her eye.

Its, I meant its.. 

I glanced at my tea, having considered something stronger but.. relenting. That would do me no good. It never had. “I can’t wipe her from my mind,” I admitted. Adam deserved that much. “The way she moved, the way she.. tore through the station, it..”

“Like looking in a mirror?” 

“No!” The thought of that thing, the thought of me, had dredged something darkly up to the depths. An unnerved, unwell quality that followed me from there to here - a formality, with most Federation assignments, but this was..

“You had done so before,” he said to my chagrin. “Though even that dark image of yourself did little to rattle your mind like the SA-X has. Why?”

I walked across the room, slipping around the center airlock chamber to mosey inside my personal quarters. Cramped.. was not the operative word, though it was starting to be—what with all the buggers sleeping inside of it, on my bed. I went straight for the bathroom, to glance upon its mirror. Adam’s voice followed. 

I was used to that part, for almost my entire life.

“Lady..”

There were faint touches of violet and blood orange in the bluish green of my eyes. The pupils remained normal, on a surface level, but upon closer examination an expert could glean that I was.. different. I had felt it before, my whole life, but now-

“I’m scared, I’m angry, I feel betrayed. What else?” I flashed a look at my teeth, running my tongue along the sharper, almost fang-like appearance of my canines. “You keep adding to the list. Got anymore?” I returned the mug of tea to my lips, savoring another, plentiful sip. 

“Like my creation, the division heads of the Federation deemed the Metroid program a calculated risk.. it may seem foolish to you, but they were not fools. They knew.”

I had given my limbs a stretch; popping my neck, knuckles, back.. just about everything. It had been some time, and it felt _good._ “They knew it would end in failure..?” With my tea finished, I let my hair down - giving myself one last look in the mirror - before leaving the room and returning the mug to its sink. “The sins of the Chozo should be left where they belong, in the past.”

“But the advantages-“

“Adam,” I snapped. “The real Adam would agree with me.”

“...would he?”

Not a day went by where I didn’t think of him, missed him. Adam saved my life countless times, helped me more than I could ever repay.. I trusted the man, respected him. A rarity. Trust was hard to come by, especially with the folly of man. “I would like to think so,” I finally replied. “But..”

“But what?”

“...I don’t know.”

“The concept of black and white do not exist, Lady. They are but a human construct; a way to help categorize your comprehension of reality. To soften the blow. Nothing is ever so simple..”

“I disagree.”

“You are an emotional being, that response is only natural.”

A soft smile had creased my lips. “We’re all products of the universe, Adam—you, me, this ship... even the Metroids. Accidental, divine, malicious; I don’t care.. I can only do what I feel is right.”

“The Federation would say the same thing, in that respect.”

My eyes moved from the viewfinder just above the kitchen, from the pleasant view of further stars. “Then we’ll just have to agree to disagree.”

“Even you know it is not so simple, not after the infant Metroid-“

_“Adam, don’t.”_

“You were saved by the infant Metroid. Twice.” His voice continued its tradition of a cold sort of command. “Whether it imprinted on you or not is irrelevant. I do not condone what the Federation did, but I understand their intent. And a Metroid saved your life, as you’ve decimated countless foes without a second thought.“

I slammed a fist against the wall, denting it ever so slightly. Shit.. I’d need to buff that later, but my anger felt righteous enough in the moment to forego future consequence. “I did the right thing. I always do.”

“Always..?”

“Adam.” There was a faint growl to my voice, as thoughts of the baby crossed my mind. The connection forged - brief as it was, strange as it was - had stuck with me. It saved my life.. again. 

And I couldn’t save it. A Metroid.

“You’re supposed to be my friend,” I said.

“But I thought I was not him?”

A heavy sigh left me, as I slowly paced back and forth across the ship. “You’re a machine.. but you can decide to be more than that. Greater than that. Just like me.”

He refrained from immediately replying. 

“You can be more than what you are; just like I have to be. I’m a killer, a hunter. And confronting the SA-X had.. it scared me; my reflection in a cracked mirror..”

“Lady..”

“But I’m more than that. I have to be.”

Adam had decided not to say anything.

“And so do you.”

Some of the animals aboard the ship had awoken, moseying around the ship now as I strolled. I petted one, briefly; its cuteness an effective salve to my current woes. “We must live with our choices, and find a way to proceed. He helped teach me that... _you_ helped teach me that.” 

“Commander Malkovich was a wise man.“

“On occasion.”

If the artificial recreation could have laughed, genuinely, it would have been then. “The Federation will want answers. And when you refuse to grant them that request.. they will send someone. Eventually.”

I remained silent.

“No one is free from consequence,” he said. “ _You_ taught me that.”

I strolled back to the kitchen, opting to fix myself a small meal along with some water. What I sorely needed.. “Whatever happens, happens. We’ll handle it.” 

“I.. I believe you.”

Another smile came over me. One fraught with sadness. “Somebody has to..”

Some food, a hot shower, and then rest. They would do me some good. Several hours, at most. Adam and I had no destination, not yet, but we would. In time. He believed in me, trusted me. And.. despite an inkling of frustration and suspicion, the feeling was starting to become mutual. 

Every star held innumerable possibility. Distant past, far future. Every star, every mark—held a choice, a consequence. I would do what I could, facing what awaited with a stern gaze. The Federation.. I do not know how far they might proceed, in regards to retribution, but what mattered to me was deciding what the right thing truly was.

Sometimes, it was difficult to discern what that was. 

Yet I thought of Adam, I thought of the baby, the Federation, the pirates, even Ridley. 

“Adam,” I asked, just before enjoying my meal - small as it was. I went to speak once more, but found greater difficulty in doing so.

“Rest first,” he offered. “Then you can decide what the right thing is.” With a pregnant pause, he eventually added, “Any objections, Lady..?”

A smile came upon my lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow [@RichmanBachard](https://twitter.com/RichmanBachard) and [@RichmanSFW](https://twitter.com/RichmanSFW) to keep up with my stories, my commission info, and my insanity.


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